Bari Quippe Boni.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Things I've made out of old T shirts.

Step one.

Get yourself the comfiest t-shirt you own. It helps if it's too crappy to wear on the regular. Or Just one you're over. I'm siphoning out my 'joke' shirts. In an attempt to grow up. Dammit.
Gather your scissors, sewing machine and pattern. Along with some cheap elastic. You're about to be killing it in the underwear department.

Step two.

Pin your pattern to the T.

Step three.

Cut it out!

Step four.

I've realized I cannot fully explain exactly what to do without video or some serious blueprint type pictures... So I'm going to keep my head down and run right through it. While sewing the pattern together (not including the elastic) you can use the ol' straight stitch.

Sew the side of the crotch (ha!) pieces together and then to one side of the main piece. Then to have the proper side of the material showing you have to roll the fabric up into the crotch (ha!) piece.

Step five.

Sew in the deepest most intimate part of the crotch (ha!)

Step six.

For a 34 inch waist you need only 29 inches of elastic. So it' stays up and You don't have to take up a trade. It's best to use new elastic. Old stuff will stretch out immediately and you'll be showing off pubic hair like a 60s star.

Step seven.

Sew the ends of the elastic together by using a straight stitch at first, then fold the ends back and use a zig-zag or 3 step zig-zag to secure it. The zig-zag stitch can stretch so the thread doesn't break, leaving your edges unfinished and crappy. Underwear is not meant to be crappy. *pause*

The trick is, only pin 4 corners and stretch the elastic out as you attatch it to the fabric.

Step eight.

Finish the edges along the bottom by folding it over once and use a zig-zag stitch. Then strike a pose.

Here are the others I've made. I'm pretty happy with the results. These home-made pairs are my favourites of my underepetoire. And It's a never ending supply! As underwear is on the way out, as are the T-shirts. It's a vicious cycle.

The blue ones were my first attempts using old elastic and learning quickly. The brown and dark blue are my attempt to customize. I Cut mylar plastic out with an exacto and just used fabric paint. They look rather bad... But hell. I'm not Miss J. Or Even Dr. J.

Yesterday I attempted to raid and rid. Raid my closet and drawers and rid myself of useless items. My gosh is it difficult. I would love to have a house fire something equally monumental that would result is starting my situation over from scratch. It's not that I'd do it much different. I'd just like a reason to throw away things I want to keep... If you follow. For instance. I've got T-shirts from old improv teams I've been on or coached and I don't want to get rid of them, they hold so many incredible(ly lame) memories. I'm not about to get them framed and mounted, but I'm also not going to make them into ass-gear.

It's the same with objects. In my direct line of sight, I can see old art, souveneirs from trips, a gift from my ninth birthday and other random shit like that fanny pack I sport sometimes and my Liquor teat. Pens, books, CDs, papers of all kinds, a plaster mold of my teeth, scraps of material, wax, earplugs, seat belts, candles, half finished/begun projects... Ad infinitum.

I realize this looks a lot like the last meaty post I made... So I'm going to end this train of thought with this: I need an intervention. Something or someone to remind me that no matter how long I keep something It will not become anymore useful or valuable enough to have it take up room in my room/life. Having said that, why did I pick up that pile of 40 archie comics from the 70s on the way home the other night...?

Because stuff is cool. It's fun to play with for awhile. I just need to grasp when it wears out it's welcome.

Please disregard this as I will not proof read it.