Bari Quippe Boni.

Friday, October 2, 2009

I'm a fan.

Why in the world would I look for a job in Montreal?

Oh, time spent alone with a computer with limited internet access.
Turns, unavoidably, to wonderfully penned 'comics' and lurking on craigslist for writing and acting work in Montreal. Then, observing reality I calculate a monthly wage of working as a construction helper and contrast it against the cheapest place I can find... Golly. To be tired at the end of everyday... say hello to a (house) cat either starved for interaction or to a slut drenched in sex rubbing up against my leg. (Still talking about a cat[but you know, whatever])


"Well, I would update my blog, but my digital camera broke a little while ago. You know no one reads a blog without pictures."

Oh, teezy how right you are. I see a post starting with text and I immediately scroll down with haste to see just how long this hunk is. If it goes on for infinity, then I'm over it before I even begin. I usually read the first lines, something in the middle in a few places then maaaayyybe the end.

Maybe if it's arranged into digestible nugglets...?


I was lamenting on the topic of my butt a moment ago. (Eggs, chili and cheese all day yesterday) Thinking, 'Oh good golly, someone is an unlucky soul for having had the misfortune of being stuck in this office with me today... I think I may be going on many, mini-walks'

But then she got here. I don't know what scent she's wearing, but it's somewhere between lighter fluid and a field of what the fuck flowers. And it's constant. Like the expansion of the universe. Imagine KISSING someone like that!? Coffee mouth mixed with smelling of a chemical some dick made up in a laboratory... Someone made that! Someone smelled it and said: "You bet. I'll clear it with the board" He took it to someone rich... Or a board of rich people and they in turn said: "You bet. Here's a fuckin' hundred hundreds. Go tell a fuckin' factory to pump this out then sell it to Cynthia.

Stop forcing the snort when you laugh...
(I don't hate her. It's early!)



I had a wild dream last night about being a father. It was a sex dream... A pretty sweet one too. And towards the end i was all: Oh baby! And she was all: I want to have a baby with you. I had VERY little time to decide. Thanks goodness dreams are dreams.

I woke up and had a think about what I would do. I considered who it was in my dream, the prospect of have a baby, along with the rest of my life with it's mother. I was in to it... But really? or did i just have a sex dream and make a decision in a nearly lucid state? Even now, after 4 hours of being awake and an energy drink under my belt, I think I'd still be interested in hearing arugments.

I wonder what state of mind I would be in if I was ever in that position? My first thought was that I would've been drunk, but you aren't drunk in dreams. Well I'm not drunk in dreams anyway... On one hand making a split decision to father a child, is terribly irresponsible, but I found it incredibly romantic. Yet ultimately shortsighted. But the mood would be decidedly ruined if I chose not to...
You see my dilemma?!!?


Holy hell. I'm coughing from it. Woof.


Do hunchbacks still exist?

I juist realized what a silly question that is.

Of course they do. Church bells keep ringing don't they?


Start here and go forth.


Do you know what you look like?
I typically have an idea, without seeing my reflection. But I see a former self. I never see myself as I am today. could be that I don't spend as much time staring at my mug in the mirror as I used to. (pimples and the developping hair) The only times I give myself a good look is when I'm high and either alone or high enough not to care that I've been in the bathroom for 5 minutes.

Although I do have an image that I draw. Like a sort of mini sefl portrait. it's a fellow with a beard and a big nose with a bit of a messy hair situation. Who would want that fathering a child eh?!


I saw a fox today on my way to work.
It was by the river, living it up. I would love to have one as a pet. I'm sure it can be done... I should have followed it home and stolen a baby instead of going to work. Hindsight is always 20/20.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Within 25 feet of me.



"Write a wish and put it in the bottle!"

Destination of bottle.

2 square feet of my life. I inherited it I think.

Monkey see.

Parent shotski!

"I remember when I was their age..."

"Oh yeah, like this!"

Decades of love.

Motherly love.

This is a dream of mine, as a hopeful parent. -Will

Luby is the center of attention again.

Prepping for a canoe trip.

Grease kills... headaches.

"Try this."

Corn... obvi.

Barbeeeeque-r A#1

Lucky light

Lucky light 2

I've always been fascinated with the concept of a door.

Monday, July 27, 2009

awakw forever

Rather busy out on the road this morning. This morning being 330am... not only was the traffic much thicker than usual, but the foot traffic was high too! A pair of sneeks on wellington, one on foot, the other on sloowww bike. Then at the foot bridge at omand's creek there was a collection of boys on bmx bicycles. In fact they weren't on the bikes at all... 2 of the fellows were on the tracks painting I imagine. The other was smoking a cigarette. Bikes laying on their sides on the path.

"Sorry 'bout that man."
"No worries dude."

It was a relitively slow ride to work today. I laid in bed until 130 thinking about sleep, took some time to look at pictures of me and my naked legs on the internet. Ah dear. I'm of two minds... It did happenm but does it need to be on the net...? I'm thinking perhaps not. I wonder how many people went to sleep without removing their make-up...? I know I'm one. I awoke to a surprisingly clean pillow. Which is lucky, because I was super later'd at the end of the night. Burger and fries to go from johnny g's is proof enough. not the burger say, but the stumble inside followed by a comatose wait by the bar in a black robe and half sweated away makeup. Rats.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Dear short hair:

Thanks for coming out.

My word, Last night they were holding circular saws up to each others faces... oof

The only real injustice is the fact that I'm not famous yet
Granted I haven't been trying
I want to make the most of my time on the planet
Soon as your born you start dying.

I enjoy this phrase and I know that when I turn it
It's as banal as I am
I try to keep this out of mind when I make something silly
Simple is a science.

Goodness gracious. It's nice to be back at work. no, really. Not to say that I ever truly left. It's more that I wasn't getting any darn shifts. And it's been lean! Straight up and down lean. It's such a drag. For so many reasons... First and most prevalent in my mind on a daily basis is my lack of ability to do whatever I want all the time. You may be saying: "But Will, you stupid idiot, having loads of free time is exactly one needs to do whatever one would want. Sheesh. Get a real subject before you start typing, dummy." While you may be right (about the time and the typing) the other main ingredient in the recipe for 'doing stuff' is dough. Cash-dough.

You want to go for a bike ride in the park? Free. You want to fix your bike? not free. You want to hang out? free. You want to hangout with a lady? not free... ha? You want to see a secret film at aceart? free. Want to see a box office smash hit with your room-mates on a moment's notice? not free.

I don't have expensive tastes really, but even a stone cold is more than stone soup...

Another reason I'm glad to be back is the people watching! And not even casual spying. I'm interacting with all sorts all the time. It's fun, I get to see the everyman without having to trudge through the mall or introduce myself! We can have a pleasant exchange, make a little joke to an old man, send them on their way and get on to the next. Sometimes I'm very stand-offish to superbabes. in my imagination they: 1) have many things handed to them and 2) have every man try to make eyes at them. So I go in the opposite direction. ha. I know it's almost cruel to treat someone differently because of their appearance, but I think it's OK in this situation. Keep in mind I'm talking about what our genereation defines as a superbabe.

I'm more into the faux hippie, faux indie, faux fur, faux socialable type

Gotta go...
more later.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

"It's a good place to come home for the summer"

Jeff approaching


Matea up to bat.

Dick on deck

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

double trouble take

Last evening I saw one of those funny things that only kids do.

On a side street... Mind you still a major side street (you know what I'm talking about. one of those fat streets that isn't quite a thick thoroughfare but get lights when it meets one) In front of a school, there was a girl standing waving her hands and dancing slowly from side to side.

As I was passing by, I thought this was a bit strange, but no crazy. Kids dance all the time. One may even be jealous of such a quality. I can't tell you the amount of stink eyes I've felt on a dance floor. Anyway, she was waving her arms, universal sign for look over here. As I did, I first took her in fully. Then I saw she had a friend sitting behind her.

"Is she ok?! Is that girl waving for help?"

After one half second I realized the girl was ok... Also, she wasn't sitting, she was squatting. What a place to pee! Not only did they not have the foresight to simply walk 'round back... Her friend decided to do an extremely noticable dance?! Too much. Too much.

I'm not bashing public peeing. I'm all for it. But that's as public as you can get. har har.
To be young again.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Asteroids to do not concern me

"You got it Luke! Use you're powers!"

"Man, Imperial Walkers eh? They just won't quit!"

"Big time trouble."

"Buddy eats!"

A Paraphrasing of conversation with rang a dang and I at 13:26 on Tuesday afternoon.

This weekend was a hodge podge of friendlies, cringe-worthy moments and more boozes than I've sipped in some time. It's a very deceptive way to make one think that you're actually doing something day to day. But than again, who say's you're not? Making connections and gathering tales to tell... It's something innit?

Not to mention a handful of photos with bad lighting and composition. Har har, can't wait to see how my latest impulse purchase is working. Perhaps you will too.

The internet is a sea and each tool is a damn siren singing. I'm well aware it's just going to give me syphilis, but shoot. I may have a bit of sea-men left in me yet.

wakka wakka.

Welcome cracking ankles and sweaty everything. Don't listen to everyone else. Summer's here.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

This is how you ditch someone who drives you mad.

I haven't taken any pictures yet.

Yesterday evening I dug into my toiletry bag only find missing the #1 item on every packing list. Toothbrush. I'm guessing in my sleep-hungry state I brushed them and tossed it back onto my shelf, forced by habit. So last night when I went for an exploratory cycle I stopped in to the metro (grocery store) to purchase one and hopefully get directions. I forgot to mention... I got lost fairly quickly. I was pretty confident I'd be able to find my way home, mentally recording the lefts and rights... To no avail.

The plan was flawless, pick out toothbrush with an appealing colour and simply ask the checkout clerk while paying. Once I posted up in my line I noticed the clerk was one-teen years old. Immediately stricken with the prospect of her not knowing where it is, holding up the line and everyone within earshot noticing my obvious anglo accent.

"Sais tu ou la rue certier est? Je suis perdue."
"Non, je m'excuse. Tu est un cochon-anglo."
"Mama mia!"

So I Payed the 2.87 and scrammed.

Saw a book store and figured maps are paper, books are paper. Case closed! Locked up and took a look, found no maps, but a tonne of adult literature. I gave in and asked the 20 something attendant for directions. no idea. rats. While i walked out, putting my mitts back on I saw a dirty looking depanneur. Where else?! If they don't have a map the person working will know the area for sure. They work at a depanneur! They're like mini versions of Mr. Thenardier right? Always humming a shanty having to do with being une bonne viveur and sweeping, constantly sweeping. Well I was close, but she had the directions in a heart beat. As a proactive thanks I purchased an energy drink.

Today I had another good ride. Went south on sherbrook and found the hostel Kjartan and I stayed in the first time I came. oogled the endless shops like a country mouse and having forgotten the address to the Y, turned back and let the cats in for some grub.

Léon and Noël. Léon is the gentleman and Noël is the lady. Seems I've already made friends with them. Records show I am a good pet person. I pet and I pet well. 8 out of 10 cats agree. Thank goodness they didn't pee on all of my clothing upon arrival. I knew it was a possibility.

Nothing interesting to report. Got the Surger threaded. Didn't have to fly home yesterday to work. Currently watching 30 rock on the internet.
dot com!

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Dear Diary.

You know what's kind of satisfying? Writing down a passage of feelings/thoughts... with a pen. Keeping it in a book or simply on a piece of paper. There's something exciting about having it just around for someone to potentially find it. Thus knowing your thoughts!!! reading your mind!

Also, It's an incredible way to take note of how you've grown or changed at least. I've recently come accross some old papers of mine, as well as papers given to me from some years ago. It's so cool to see how stupid I was. And also to discover how stupid I am now to future Will! I'm insane! I hold things in such high regard when they are meaningless in the grand scheme, I care for such strange people! My daily routine is laughable! Those pants look ridiculous!

So now, I've had the idea of a time capsul for a while. I want my roomates to take part and I also want to start one with nearly random people... Simply to open it one day with them and see where they are and what we haven't accomplished. I kid, I kid. But seriously, I still have ideas that my life will be photogenic and with purpose. When in reality I'll more then likely:

+Find contentment in a great love.
+Realize that since I have the happiness one looks for in life, I don't need to persue 'it'.
+Have children for the sheer delight in day dreaming about tossing the ol' ball around and building a tree house.
+Shake my first 3.5 children to death (accidentally, don't judge).
+Start wearing golf shirts I won at company picnics.
+Find a permanent 'look' (hair sans product -or- far too much gel, facial hair, glasses, weight)
+Miss my hard livin' days.
+Lose my french.
+Get up early every day even on weekends.
+Have a nest egg.
+List things I did when I was young.
+Make a will.
+Hate mondays.

Oh golly.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

William Thom David Belford

First off: Cryptic message to true friends.

I might sell underwear in local shop awesome... I was in there with Liza and she told the owner I make 'em. So he told me to give him some. I've decided to work like a devil in MTL. Find one of those thrift stores that sell T's for pennies. You know the kind. The sort of place that's so cheap you feel guilty for buying things at.

"I have money, I don't need to buy pants for a dollar... And yet..."

Then go buy yards and yards of elastic, borrow my grandmothers surger sewing machine and pump them out. I can't wait. Grandma will have to teach me how to thread that beast before I go.

Holy Dinah, I recently planned a date for 3 girls from work. (on VD) We did a bunch of stuff. Took some pictures in the train station, dinner at Casa Grande, dancing at my house to 'Girl Talk' (they hadn't heard it before and lost their shit!) And drank wines while watching old 16mm films. It was tight and Pseudo-romantic. I've been wondering if real dates should look like this. not all the time right?! But most of the time. Damnit anyway. These events are directly affected by your ownership of a car.
Car=mobility/ability to cart shit around
Bike=Sweat/contents of one backpack & pockets/shoes that are not 'nice'
That being said, I was told recently that my body is like a great giant BOOB. A sack of fat with a nipple. So I guess cycling isn't completely silly. Maybe I can slim down to an A cup.

I was feeling pressure to make a new post... By myself. I figure if you've got it flaunt it.

Nature makes only a few who are good.
Thinking of you.
'I want a verb and you give me a noun, What do you dream up when I tongue you down?'
I'm going to drink and energy drink. Sugar free.

Oh man, pictures of date and new thunderwear soon.
Also: I guess I need a name for the underwear co. eh? Any suggestions better than thunderwear?

wilf 'closing thoughts' belf

Friday, February 13, 2009

Let the light in slowly, I'm making a point.

Heave (ho)
kiev (wrong pronounciation)

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

impromptu sesh. incl. time limit

Rip through that noose
Use things you grew'd
words spew idea juice
each few will produce,
images you can associate with a certain lifestyle you want to be apart of.

Friday, February 6, 2009

punk or pokemon?

Did anyone hear my cry in the middle of the floor?
God knows you saw it but the music was so louder than my stupid fucking shirt.
I suppose everyone gets a few in their lifetime.
But I wasn't quite ready for it, not right then anyway.
Maybe a bit later in the night.*
God I say maybe a lot. Only thing I'm (not even that) sure about is while I'm alive, I'll feel alive.
I know they're not my words. But hold it against me. Please... I have nothing to do right now. A healthy meaningless passive confrontation would be great right now. Somehting to pass the time.
Did you know Robin Black is an ultimate fighter now? Turns out black eyes are the new Black. It's cheaper than make-up. Yuo just need little shorts, fingerless gloves (you can make those for free) and an entrance song. power-pop-punk-rock or otherwise is fine... So that's nice for him.
That's genuinely not clever.
I've played chess many times, But I'm game if you are.
Thanks for the tips grandpa.

*the shirt or the cry?

The combed cotton
or the rage brought on
by a shoe stomped on
by a tripping teen, tripping just long enough to forget where he can walk on.

The dancing or the shotgun
of beers or of vodka
the bar mat slopped on
until thoughts burn holes large enough to lead you to the octogon (like robin black!)

Thursday, February 5, 2009


Do I look like a damn Taurus? Geez.
Read the predictions... I'm obviously an Aries.
Doesn't the description fit my personality to a 'T'?
My inquisitive nature pokes and cuts like cutlery.
Iambic pentametre is for the weak of knees.
And clever poets who shake spears with mad steez.

Friday, January 30, 2009

Jell-o pie.

Sitting at work in front of a computer. Surrounded (not inmmediately) by literally hundreds. Thanks a lot airport.

The new airport is coming along nicely. I think it's funny that even when the buidling is finished being builded it will be long from done... imagine the complete mind destrustion of trying to figure out how to install the electrical wires, let alone the plumbing, let alone the phone lines, the internet connections, the networking for the individual airlines... and being as its an airport there must be safety measures as well! All the inner comings and goings must be connected to the police, fire department and army! Golly. The secret airport is far more interessting than the stuff you get to see. Machinery! Locked doors! Holding cells! The smuggler-catching toilet in customs! Dan, the guy with one arm and one hundred million stories! (Never asked about the arm though)

We're hooked up and online all damn day. You, me, business, art, music, and even your grandma's juicing up some tight ass backgammon with a greasy teen in Australia. At times I consider this fact as I'm sure we all have. It's a real mind bender... I'm not claiming this as original thought by any means. I'm merely taking note and telling those who read that: I've noticed. I don't even need to get into the all too common/conversational rant about how "If the internet, like, died of whatever. We'ed all be sooo screwed. Oh my god. It's so insane!" I wish it didn't exist. I wish that we didn't have the power to scour and devour all things more here and now'r. Granted I wouldn't be able to communicate with my homiest accross the sea. but poop. Imagine how good the stories would be when he does return brown and tired?

Having decreed we are a might too connected, observe:
My cell phone has been recalled due to the fact that it emmits unacceptible amounts of radiation. Does this suck? Should I be mad? I can't really decide. And just what is an acceptible amount of radiation?!@ My point is that I made the choice to put this thing to the side of my face and in my left pocket, as are millions. I heard rumours about brain tumours and whatnot, but I was not officially aware of the radiation until this very moment I suppose.

I just got bored of writing... It's not really going anywhere anyway.


ps. I have no idea what I'm doing with my life and I blow it all day everyday. So... that's nice.

pps. I just decided to force myself to write and waste some time.

ppps. Just changed my mind. Not worth it.

pppps. insert stark, bright colored, art involving collage so the indie scene is properly represented.